Brace yourself...

You know, life is funny sometimes.  I've always wanted to start a blog; but have always felt like I didn't really have anything to say or write about.  Then bam...one day I've got more to say than anyone would ever want to read and ironically I don't want to tell anyone what I have to say.  Life is funny.  I know our story must be shared; but it's not easy.  

I kind of wonder how David would have felt if social media would have been around in 1000BC.  Would he have confessed on facebook and started his own blog on he and Bathsheba's journey to healing?  I'm sure Jerusalem would have been glued to their smartphones trying to stay in contact with their beloved king. Despite it all, King David was loved, he was broken, he was healed...he was a man after God's own heart. 

So, here we are some 3000 years later; and we've got our own news to share.  We're broken, we truly desire to know and follow God's heart, we are on the road to healing, and we are loved.  Even as I type this, my hands are shaking, I feel sick to my stomach and I want to delete everything I've typed and put on a happy face.  It's easier to pretend it's all okay.  However, I want God to be glorified.  So...here goes...

(I know, get to the point already, Meg...) 

This past Sunday Chad confessed to our beloved church his battle with Alcoholism.  Yes, you read that correctly.  My husband is an alcoholic. 

I promise you, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that last sentence would ever come from my mouth.  Trust me, it's taken me a long time to even be able to admit the truth to myself, let alone out loud to others.  I mean, for real, the man didn't even drink when I married him 11 years ago.  We've gone from zero alcohol to full-blown alcoholic.  I can't walk you through the steps on how we got to were we are, I can't even answer a lot of the questions you might have...I just don't know.  All I know is where we are; and where I'm trusting God will lead us.  

Before I go any farther, I want to apologize to some who might be wishing I would have told you another way than over a blog on facebook.  I'm sorry.  I truly am.  I love you all, I truly do.  This is hard, really hard.  I still can't get through a conversation without the 'ugly-cry' waterworks.  I'm asking for grace.  I wish I was strong enough to call each one of you or just show up and tell you in person; but I'm just not.  Believe me, stating the facts here is more than I can handle.  Please just remember, I love you all! 

Our church has been incredible and I am overwhelmed.  The elders have been working with Chad in his recovery and have been gracious, sympathetic and understanding since last December (2012) when all of this came to light.  I can honestly say it's their hearts desire to do the will of our Father, and this last Sunday when the entire congregation was informed, I saw Christ.  We were hugged by His hands, we were comforted with His words, and we were loved with His love.  

The Church has given Chad a 90-day sabbatical to focus on his recovery and healing.  This blog is designed to stay-in-touch with everyone and keep informed those that wish to walk this journey with us.  I do not know where this journey will lead and I am trusting God to give me just enough light for the next step.  

On this path I will be unashamed; and yes, I know I spelled 'dependance' wrong...but I believe one day I'll dance.  :)  Chad has also started a blog (unashameddependents) and will use it to update as he is able to.  We are unashamed, we are dependent and we are His dependents.  

He is good.  He is faithful.  

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:31